Wednesday, 13th December
In between some of the most vivid dreams and super sleep, I was helping Nige to the loo most of the night. He’s deteriorating I think though I’m not sure what the answer is. It feels very like last time, in July, but his speech isn’t as bad. Back then it was a swelling over the tumour and once the steroids kicked in, there was a massive improvement. So what, do I increase the steroids? The very medication that’s left his thigh muscles so ineffective? The permanent exhaustion is absolutely a symptom of the spreading of the tumour – there’s nothing I can do about that. Hmm. Anyway, on with the day.
Our Nick came round this morning. Not too early as I didn’t wake up until almost 11! I made him a coffee and we chatted about Nige, mum, Christmas and all that. I left him taping and filling in the garage and went off to find an oil filled radiator. I tried Homebase but realised that Screwfix was just opposite and had better deals. One radiator bought, back in the van, home, assemble said radiator… notice huge dent in the bottom, re-pack, back in the van, back to Screwfix, successfully exchanged and home. Some things are just easier than others and in stark contrast to be life right now, the radiator saga was as easy as pie.
I rushed upstairs to Nige – he was snoring away. I decided to hoover the front room and tidy up, in case Nige came down. He didn’t. Actually, it’s now 11.25pm and he’s been in bed since 11.10pm yesterday… This is a first (since July). Another first is me having to feed him. And tomorrow I’m going to have to master the art of giving a bed-bath.
So with a huge sorrow, heavy heart and wet cheeks I’m ending the day. I’m going to pour myself something alcoholic and give myself some sage advice… Tomorrow’s a new day. I’m fine, honestly, I’m just how you’d expect me to be, right? Cheers.