Diary

My Personal Advent. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Saturday, 24th

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So Christmas Eve then, and we’re up at 6.30, Harry, Ali and I, staggered to the car in the cold and dark to get her to the bus station before 7.30. I’ll miss her you know, but if it were Harry in Sutton, I’d want him home for Christmas day too. I was back in bed by 8 and stayed there until gone 10. Nick rang (which woke me up) to say he was popping over with pressies. Enough time for a quick rush around…

Nick limped into the house, his sciatica’s playing up again. Apart from that though, he looked really well. I made coffee and Irish Barmbrack and we nattered on about 2016; the pros and cons. More cons to be fair. The news last night about Carrie Fisher’s heart attack upset Nige somewhat so the update this morning, telling us she was stable was a huge relief. We’ll have to keep our fingers crossed a little longer, I fear. World put to rights, Nick set off home with presents, hugs and my deepest love and respect for everything he’s done for us this year. He has been a 2016 pro.

I had to pop out to Morrisons again, can you believe it? Brandy butter was calling, along with stir-fry, muffins and a few other bits. I took the opportunity to nip into town too and buy an extra gift for Nige, Harry and Gabe to share… I left it in the boot of the car though, as I definitely could not get it into the house unseen. As we started to settle for the afternoon, I mentioned getting the turkey out of the freezer. Nige said,

‘I don’t remember putting it in the freezer!’

‘I’m sure you did… It’s not in the fridge…’

‘Perhaps it’s in one of the bags in the boot of the car… I’ll check!’

‘NO!! I mean it’s not in there… I’ve been through the bags in the boot…’

We came to the conclusion that the girl on the till put it in a carrier bag but we didn’t notice and so left it there… Great. I deflected another search of the boot by Nige, this time for the receipt, as we set off back to Morrisons to resolve the turkey issue. The girl on the Customers Service desk was brilliant. No quibble, she found out that we had, indeed, left our turkey on the till and told us to go and fetch a replacement, free of charge. Wonderful, what an excellent pair of turkey rustlers we turned out to be!

After dinner I took Gabe over to Winsley, to drop off and pick up presents to Lois. We sat in there for a while, chatting to Stew and Lo and then raced home for Nigel’s games night. We played Saboteur (Harry won), Timeline (Gabe won) and Twelve Days (Harry again). I think we’ll stick to turkeys…

Not an uneventful Christmas eve then, on parr with the last few months I suppose, events wise at least. So what will tomorrow bring? Well, I’m predicting presents, smiles, laughter, tears and love. Bucket loads of love because at the beginning, the middle and the end, it’s all that matters.

Happy Christmas to you all. Thank you for reading, for caring enough to read and for sharing the love that is bountiful within us all. 2017 looks like it’ll be a right bastard from where I am but I bet I can find the love there too… xxxx

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Diary

My Personal Advent. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Friday, 23rd

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Our final trip to Oncology and Nigel’s final radiotherapy session… Well that was the fastest 6 weeks ever! A later appointment meant we had a half hour lie in although Eccles tried his damnedest to put pay to that. He was so good yesterday, curling up and napping at the bottom of our bed. Not today though, it was the shower room for him! Temozolomide taken at 8am, up and dressed, paperwork sorted and out of the door before 9 in the hope that, as usual, an early arrival means an early finish. We were right too, we were done by 9.30. Well, we would have been. I’d given Nige two questions to ask the team;

‘We have an extra dose of Temozolomide (due to a missed dose), should we tag it on the end?’

‘Despite a recent prescription of Dexamethasone, we still only have enough to get us to the 9th of January. Is that right?’

I also brought in the blood form, not realising that it didn’t need doing again until two days before our January appointment. Anyway, it all worked out for the best. The doctor said ‘No’ to tagging the extra chemo dose onto the end and we were given more Dexamethasone with instructions to wean Nige back down to 2mg. They wanted to do a blood test to check his sugar levels but instead (as I had the form on me) they just ticked the relevant box and it can be done along with the rest in January. We just had a bit of a wait for the prescription. I saw Helen in the main waiting room. I used to work with her in Moorlands and we’ve always been quite close. Initially I didn’t know what to say – ‘How are you?’ always seems a bit pointed, given where we were… so I opted with a hearty, ‘Hello!’ She was surprised and happy to see me,

‘It’s so lovely to see you! Why are you here? Is it you?’ 

‘No, it’s Nige,’ pause,  ‘He has brain cancer… How about you?’

‘Oh I have Lymphoma Leukemia. I’ve had it for a few years and have to get regular check ups. Will Nige survive?’

‘Well, we haven’t been told a death date and, well, he’s pretty positive… But it’s stage 4, aggressive, so…’ Tears again.

‘There’s a chap on the canal who was diagnosed with the same thing, stage 4, and he decided not to give in. Started his own canal boat company and is still with us…’

Hope springs eternal, right? A smile, a nod and I’m bouncing out of the room with Nigel and his many meds.

Instead of going straight home, we called into Morrisons. Vegetables to buy as well as a few other bits and bobs. We started with a coffee and a croissant, not quite the celebration Nige deserved but it was passable. You know, Nige and I are compatible in everything except food shopping. Where I grab, push, pay and go, Nige loves to peruse, purchase, pack and ponder. There’s so much joy on his face as he checks the list and he positively frowns when I purposely ‘go off list’ like a naughty child! I’m amazed he’s never slapped me, to be honest!

As we had the shopping to do, I cancelled my coffee morning with Marianne and the girls at Velo Lounge. Rather splendidly, Marianne came to me later. We exchanged Christmas presents and nattered over tea and coffee. She’s having two Christmases, like us as Adam and Jon are all over the place. We didn’t have long as it turned out as I had to take Ali to work for 3pm. I did know, but I’d forgot… She finished at 5 too.

A chilled out evening then, in our (now) tidy house. There’s a few good things on telly, we are all full up from our perfect fry-up, courtesy of Nige and Eccles is silent, nose up his bum, fast asleep! Aha, what an incredibly uplifting 6 weeks. It’s been tiring, emotional and, at times, a little worrying but we got there, along with all the other wonderful couples we met along the way. Now we can kick back our heels, pour a drink and settle into Christmas.

 

 

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Diary

My Personal Advent. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Thursday, 22nd

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Let’s be clear, I write my advent at the end of the day and today I’ve ended it with a bottle of blackberry vodka. So I sit here now with Alan Partridge bopping away to Roachford and Eccles casting me reproachful glances. Everyone else is in bed.

A far more sedate beginning to the day; Eccles was asleep at the bottom of the bed, happy until 7, which is a reasonable time for his breakfast! Nige took his Temozolomide at half past and we left for Oncology at 10 past 8. All pretty standard. He really is counting down the hours now – last appointment tomorrow. He asked (again) about what happens next. I’m not sure what they say correlates with what he tells me, though I do know we have an appointment to discuss chemotherapy on 25th of January. Nigel’s confusion is that he thought we’d be starting chemotherapy on the 25th, not talking about it. We checked his medications; even with the prescription the other day, we only have enough steroids to take us to January the 9th. I can’t help but think they’re trying to tell us something… I’m also thinking blackberry vodka isn’t my friend…

Today we tackled the bathrooms – Nigel downstairs, me up. Although mine was the grubbiest, Nige did have the shower to do. He also managed to break the toilet cistern… Cue unnecessary anger! Bless him, it could’ve been anyone. Anyway, after an hour sat, calming down he fixed it, easy as pie. The rest of the house is okay really, a bit of tidying up is all it needs and that can be done tomorrow, after his final radiotherapy session.

It was Harry’s last shift before Christmas this evening. Although given that he’s in next Wednesday, that’s no real news I guess. But with Gabe now done too, it means I’ve only got Ali going to work tomorrow and then I’m done driving for a bit. Wonderful. Once he was home, I opened the aforementioned blackberry vodka, homemade by my mum.

‘This is better than last year’s! Not too strong either…’

Well, yes, it is and actually, it’s stronger than I thought too. So I’m signing off, with emotions piqued and hot flushes abound. G’night you lovely lot, until tomorrow.

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Diary

My Personal Advent. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Wednesday, 21st

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Eccles; 6.30. Me; 7 and Nige; 7.30… It’s a pattern of a sort I suppose. Radiotherapy was at 8.48, which is what we’ve been used to and now the schools have finished for Christmas, the traffic is much lighter. Unusually we had to wait for twenty minutes. Apparently LA3 had gone down earlier and was only just back up and running. There was a back log, obviously, to clear, which meant more people in the waiting room. Despite all that and knowing the reason we’re all there, the atmosphere was still as positive as ever. Seriously, there are those on my Facebook page who’d learn a lot by a visit or two to Oncology!

We were home a little later then, but in plenty of time for me to get ready for my coffee with Gem at The Holburne Museum. It was lovely to see her; sat by a purple sculpture of a brain (of course) with a green tea and a smile. I bought a hot chocolate and we exchanged gifts. I had a couple of extra ones, which was truly lovely, from Sue (my head teacher) and from Jayne (my Cedar cohort). All very festive, thank you guys! So Gem and I nattered on about Nige, me, work, life. We laughed, we cried – well Gem cried more than me – and then we wandered around the gift shop. It all felt very normal, although Gem doesn’t usually cry until a couple of bottles of wine have been sunk… We parted with a hug and each others best wishes. Perfect.

As soon as I got home I decided to put up some outdoor lights over the front window. They’re the lanterns from the courtyard and I’d been toying with this for a few days. It took less than half an hour and they look beautiful. I’m so pleased, we were beginning to look a bit lack-lustre up against numbers 5 and 6! Although number 4 still looks like a hovel, with a little pile of black ‘dog poo’ bags next to the dustbin. Yeah, it baffles me too… At some point I fell asleep on the sofa, oh hang on, that would have been about 5.30 because Pointless was on and Nige dozed off next to me for 10 minutes or so. I yawned through a phone call from mum afterwards – that’ll teach me. It was obviously ‘mums night’ as Norah rang Nige too. I love watching his face as he listens, or tries to listen, to what she’s saying. Tonight I listened as he told her exactly how he was feeling, how anxious he felt about what was to happen to him next. Obviously I couldn’t hear her response but the fact that after just a minute or so he asked,

‘What, Gareth? Oh… right…’

told me that the conversation had predictably moved onto Gareth or Millie or Lawrence or ANYONE. Sadly, Nige just accepts this state of affairs, pulling a bored face at me as he tries to process all the unnecessary information she’s giving him. I want to grab the phone and tell her to,

‘Shut up and listen to him!’

After all, she rang him, right? I think I may have to have a chat with her first next time she rings, try to politely explain that her son really needs for her to focus on him when she calls and to make sure she keeps sentences short and relevant.

Everyone finished at different times tonight; Ali at 7.30, Gabe at 9 and Harry at 10. Well, that was the plan. I messaged Gabe at 9 and he replied,

‘I’ll be out at half past :)’

So I headed to the fountain at 20 to 10. I sat and waited and waited, time was ticking by and Harry needed fetching at 10. At 5 to 10 I set off to Morrison’s, keeping an eye out for Gabe en route. Harry was out on time and he tried to ring Gabe – no answer. I retraced the route back to the fountain and there he was, flapping about in the middle of the road! That quirky lad. He’d rung my phone (which I’d left at home) and Nige told him I’d probably gone on to get Harry. What a palaver, eh! Still, all came good in the end and the joy of seeing my new outside lights on our return was, sadly, quite exciting!

 

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Diary

My Personal Advent. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Tuesday, 20th

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Despite it being a later appointment, it was a bloody early start. 6am to be precise… Not even Eccles had uttered a word. Because we weren’t in until 10.18, the Temozolomide needed taking at 9, so Nige wanted breakfast at 7, or just before. Otherwise he’d have to wait until 11, hence my early, rude awakening. I kept the cat happy with Dreamies and Nige happy with a couple of Weetabix, then back to bed until 9.

It was strange being in Oncology at that time. The only familiar face we saw was Rose’s husband and he was on his way out. We got in dead on time and also topped up on Dexamethasone, Paracetamol and eye drops at the pharmacy. We went straight to town afterwards, to sort out bank accounts and stuff. Without going into details, it was; park on Walcot Street 🙂 , Waitrose Cafe 😦 , TSB :/ , Nationwide 😐 , HSBC 🙂 , TSB 🙂 , Lush 🙂 , Clarks 🙂 and then home 🙂 . I find the Emojis a far quicker way of conveying the success or failure of our errands.

We were only really home for a couple of hours – not long at all. Then it was my 10 minute yoga whatsit and off to take Ali to work. Nige came with us as we did the – wait for it – Christmas food shopping on our way home… Oh my goodness. I’ve avoided it for years you know. Of all the chores I’ve taken on, this one has to be the worse. The only positive thing was that, due to Nige’s diligent stamp saving and coupon collecting, our £171 bill actually cost us £50 something! Not too shabby eh?

Nick rang this evening. He’s hoping to come round sometime this week to drop off his presents. I love nattering to him, so straight forward and uncomplicated. We also had a small parcel from Norah, Nigel’s mum. At first I thought it was a collection of cards from his family – hoped it was at any rate. No, it was all from Norah; a card for us with some cash in it, vouchers for the boys and a calendar. Very sweet, I’m sure, but I did wish his sisters had bothered… Sending meaningless sentiments on Facebook messenger does not a sister make…

‘Oh, I fear I’m unravelling…’ So for the sake of you all, I’m off to bed.

NB ‘What about the reading?’ I hear you ask. Well, two chapters read last night. Yes indeedy, perhaps there’s hope for me yet!

 

 

 

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My Personal Advent. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Monday, 19th

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1992

I spent last night in Calne at my childhood home with my mum. I’m sure there must have been someone (anyone) else there but I have no recollection who. I can’t really remember my mum! Nige spent last night in our little flat above the chip shop in Batheaston alone. We set of to Bath in dad’s car and arrived at the Francis Hotel, where we met up with Nige and the Bath guests. I think the Nottingham lot (all 4 of them) were there too. My family came up with us. My enduring memory is of my beautiful brother, Ben, forgetting his suit trousers and having to wear a pair of Moleskin ones of my dad’s. The wedding took place in the registry office on Charlotte Street. A tape recording of something suitable played me down the ‘aisle’ and I caught a fit of the giggles as I echoed my vows. Somewhere amongst that Katharine, Nigel’s niece, dropped a bag of coins that her mum had given her to play with.

Ceremony over, we all adjourned to Queens Square for photos. I say photos, Mavis and her husband, John, had their little camera, as did a few others so they all got snapping away. Next: The George at Bathampton (Coincidence, eh?) for the reception. We were upstairs, in a quirky little room, level with the canal path. A lovely little buffet, with a wedding cake made by mum and coming in at a handsome £70, all in.

It was all truly wonderful and I would not have changed anything. The subsequent 23 years and 9 months have been bloody marvellous too. But the past 3 months? Well, they’ve been insightful, incredible, terrifying, emotional, heart-wrenching, life-affirming… crappy, shit… Still truly wonderful, even if I wish (oh I wish) I could change them, because when you find your soul mate you don’t let them go. You cherish them and nurture the relationship. You meet every obstacle with a ‘can do’ attitude and you fight. You fight.

Happy 24th anniversary, you beautiful man. Always and forever xxxxxxx

2016

The beginning of week 6, the final countdown. There was a real buzz in Oncology this morning. I’m putting it down to the spirit of Christmas, of course, although the fact we’re all on our last week may have something to do with it!

Home and a smashing cup of coffee. Then I booked us a table at Graze for an anniversary lunch. Gabe starts work at 12 so I made the booking for half past, dropped Gabe at the fountain and then went to find a parking space. Well, could I park? Oh my goodness, we drove around and around. Finally we ended up on the very top of Avon Street Car Park, queued to pay, rushed to get to Graze (15 minutes late) and sat down, out of breathe and knackered! We ate our splendid lunch and left in plenty of time to fetch the car and pick up Harry and Ali from the bus station. Unfortunately though, the sodding lift at the carpark was out of order. Poor Nige, so many steps, so little breathe… We got home and his nap-free run was at an end. Not surprising, I could’ve easily joined him!

Despite spending hours on a coach, Ali still went to work, bless her. Harry, Sam and Aaron are picking her up later as they’re all off to The Hope and Anchor. Gabe’s off out straight from work too so with that one trip to Medical Records, I’m done. Gin and tonic for me.

Oh, yoga! I have started. I’ve gone right back to the beginning though, with a basic 12 day programme. Day 1 done, BOOM! Proud? Yeah, you are… x

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My Personal Advent. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Sunday, 18th

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‘No, no, no, I’m having a lie in!’ 

I decided, before crawling into bed at 1.30am… I messaged Gabe at 1.15am to see if he’d finished work only to get one back 10 minutes later to say,

‘Eating a kebab with the boss, go to sleep I’ll walk home 🙂 ‘

Obviously I stayed awake until I heard him come in, around 2.30. It’s what I do.

Eccles started at about 7, I held out though and in the end Gabe got up to put him in the shower room. Next to get up was……… Nige! Yep, I’d achieved that elusive lie in, and man it was delicious. Nige brought me up a coffee and we both sat a while watching the magpies tease a squirrel – or was it the other way round?

My feet are absolutely killing me, which is causing my knees to ache too. So I prescribed myself a day of ‘staying off my feet’. Bring on lots of mindless game playing on my phone and Facebook shenanigans, with a healthy dose of JustGiving in between. Really? It’s not like I don’t have books to read. It’s a familiar road I’m on and if I can just get my shit together I can steer myself away from that pit of despair I know I’m heading for. I mean, I did at least make dinner!

So, dear people, tomorrow I should be writing about starting yoga. I should mention how much better I feel for doing it and I definitely need to tell you how many pages of my book I’ve read… If I can do that, I’ll avoid that pit. Strange though, I normally get like this after Christmas but I suppose this has been a far from normal year. Please bear with me, Nige generally ‘kicks me into touch’ but, well like I said, not a normal year.

Lois came round today, which brightened it up and I’m up to £45 on my JustGiving page! Which is here, if anyone fancies making a contribution…

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Cotswold-Hike

So, I’m now going to finish the Sloe Gin mum made and then hobble upstairs to my man, who’s snoring away as I type.

 

 

 

 

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