Small and peculiar, I was never one to demand centre stage.
Introvert and singular, even I failed to notice me age.
At the troublesome age of fourteen I obviously sought a gaze or two. The clothes became peculiar and singular, while I remained small and introvert. I should have been a worry for all concerned yet no one noticed me at all.
In a small town, as introverted as myself, I carved a non-name for myself. My outgoing confidence betrayed my inward awkwardness. My two large brothers protected my ice maiden cool. But that couldn’t last forever.
Pubs, pubs and more pubs. What else is a girl to do? I smoked and drank like a man, dressed like a wood nymph, froze people out. Until I met the dad of a man who was a friend of a friend. I liked that friend. I thought he was cool.
A drunken night, no words exchanged just gazes. “You confuse me,” said my friend. “You have no idea what you do to men.” Hmm, and I downed my pint and rolled another. Cold and indifferent, I shrugged. The dad of the friend (who I thought was cool), said,
“Your face is exquisite. I would like to photograph you.”
“All right,” said I and got into his car.
We head out of town, this dad and I, the friend (his son) in the back with me.
We pull up to a barn, a converted barn and I’m not as impressed as I should be.
I remember little else, I was pretty drunk I guess, though I do recall the light switch.
It was on the wrong side of the wall and it mattered to me. Much more than what could’ve happened next.
I woke up the next day, in my bed in my house with my mum making breakfast downstairs.
My recollection was vague but I knew I’d been good, my friend had been there the whole time. For months subsequent I asked this chap, “Are the pictures done then, are they okay?” He just smiled and looked kind of sheepish.
Finally I asked and he said, “Lisa, they are the pictures of a quiet beauty taken by a lecherous, drunken old bastard.” He stopped short of adding, “Who, if I hadn’t have been there, would’ve taken full advantage of your own insobriety.”
That friend of mine remained confused about me but I became wiser that night.
For dirty old men are there throughout life but to get into one’s car is not right.